So he didn't play Isner in Round 2

No, Roger went ahead and defeated Frenchman Gaël Monfils 6-3, 6-4. Yawn. And that's just how we like it. Roger doling out spanking after spanking. That's the world we understand.

Next up is the Swede Robin Söderling. It could have been his buddy Wawrinka but he lost in the First Round too. So this did not work out like I was hoping but as long as Roger's winning it's just fine.

Dropped down in Key Biscayne

Roger's ready to roll in the Miami tourney and has even more time to prep since he's been handed a bye for the first round. He'll face either Monfils or the great American John Isner in Round 2. You all remember John from the US Open last year when he took a set off Roger courtesy of his powerful serve. You remember. Member?

Mardy Fish stuns Roger, the world

I forgot to report that Roger beat Hass. Oops. But more importantly today Mardy Fish defeated Roger 6-3, 6-2 in the Pacific Life Open Semi-Final. Looking like a lumberjack, Fish played perfect tennis to take down Roger. Even Mardy's girlfriend looked on completely perplexed. Fish is the lowest seeded player to defeat Roger since Roger has reigned #1. He'll face Djokovic in the Final tomorrow.

Roger beats opponent whose name Americans furrow their brows over

Ljubicic. I can pronounce it because I've heard it but could you pronounce it when you saw it for the first time? I'm not so sure.

Roger beat him 6-3, 6-4. Next up: Tommy Hass.

Roger beats a Frenchie

Roger made another Frenchman wave the white flag, taking down Nicolas Mahut 6-1, 6-1. 9 aces and won 96% of his first serves. No more mono!

Next up: Ljubicic.

Second Round at Pac Life Open not a problem!

Roger beat Spain's Guillermo Garcia-Lopez 6-3, 6-2 in a 68 minute match. However, the conditions were crap. It was WAY too windy. This is Palm Springs! What the heck is going on? (I went to the tourney so I'm a little perturbed.)

Draw for the Pacific Life Open is announced

I guess we're supposed to be shaking in our bootstraps because it appears that Roger may have a tough draw. Yeah right. The guy had mono and had just gotten over some serious stomach ailment and still went to the Semis at the Australian Open. Can you imagine how scary he's going to be now that he's over that stuff? Yeesh. I fear that Andy Roddick may see yet another demoralization. Here's to a fun press conference afterwards!

Roger beats Pete at the Clash of Times

Roger won 6-3, 6-7, 7-6. I have to say, that match was almost alarmingly entertaining. It wasn't fixed, was it? Oh, who cares. It was a blast. Now if I could just get some decent highlight reels off of YouTube that would be great...

Don't you love that NetJets gave Roger a ride to Indian Wells provided that he took Pete with him? That kind of ride sharing is guaranteed to save us from global warming!

Roger has *had* mono

He explains it all in this letter to his fans. He's over it now so he's just trying to get back in shape and then it looks like we'll have our old Roger back!

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Roger lost! To Andy Murray! In the first round in Dubai! This is just awful. I can't slice it any other way.

7-6(6), 3-6, 4-6. I don't want to talk about it.

I hope he gets some practice time in with Pete before Madison Square Garden. Will his next move be to get a coach?